I wish nothing ever happened.

I wish you know how I feel when you decided to leave.

I wish I don't have to take sides, because it's not mine to say. Although I saw it coming, it still hurts. It's like a huge hole has been punched through my chest. I'd always known what keeps me motivated. But for now, I guess everything's ruined.

I wish I can be stronger, much more stronger than this. That's life you know, heartbreak is just part of the deal.♡




.
  Hee hee hoo hoo hee hee hoo hoo.

 Wait. Can I not hold my tears for tonight? It sucks.

Currently undergoing dreadful pains in belly and pelvic area. Wait. Seriously? I feel like this is my hundredth tiime posting about this shyt. -.- It feels awful, awful, and awful, LITERALLY. Thought I almost got myself killed, if you know what I mean. Holy. I mean what did I do that deserve such inhuman and awful torture? I only had few glasses of cold papaya milk days before thats all :( Okay, maybe I just shouldn't drink anything cold at all from now on. Not even a bit. I mean I've had enough. Hugs and kisses for this man for dropping by when I needed someone here by my side. And lots of thanks for my super gentleman and caring brother for watching me (live) puke all over the stairs, cleaning my puke up (eww! I did not say this.) &helping me to crush the pill into little section so it'd be easier for me to swallow. Awwhh.. Best brother ever :)

Just a gentle reminder for myself: No cold drinks for the month. It's for your own good.

Why do you have to learn it the hard way?? Silly! pfft.

What can I do?

It's amazing how hours pass like minutes.
loving your warmth
arms around my shoulder
priceless expressions
shocking height in person
unfamiliar cam-whoring skills
lame jokes
blushing ears
kiss on forehead
and long goodbyes

Miss you already..:)

Dear Jack,

Before today ends, I've something really important to tell you:

You're absolutely a blessing for me, baby. You're an angel, pull me back to truth when mine is twisted. You would pick my call in the middle of the night, listen to me sobbing non-stop and would ask me WHY? ARE YOU OKAY? TELL ME BABY like all the time. You know what I love to hear the most, but you said it with perfect sincerity that would move one's soul. You sing sour and off-key lullaby to me through the phone when I can't sleep. You wake me up every morning, knowing that my morning would be better if it starts with you, and would give me gazillion loves through the air. Then you'd call me at night, just so you know your voice is the last I hear. You'd miss me like crazy at times, and particularly tonight, when you can't reach me on phone, you were so worried and would keep texting&calling me. You wrote comments that make my day on facebook, on blogger, and on my hearts. You remember our monthsary before I do. You know when I'm afraid, and will hold me with your replacement bears and said: 'shhhh b. Don't worry, for I'm here. I'll protect you. All goods. :)' Oops, and that smiley face, that you'd never use for texting，you'd insert it now, just because I like texts with faces. You know my weakness, what I am really fear of, but you won't give up on me, yet promise me we'll get through it together, somehow, someday.. You keep every single promise you make, you apologize even if I was mad at you because I'm having PMS and that, is apparently not your fault! You do stupid things, like shave in front of skype, for the mere wish of mine. You blush right on your cheeks when I said: 'Hey b, you damn cute lah.' and would reply: 'You don't know what are you saying.' even though you know that's true. You would sort things out when I was about to run away with my favorite quote: 'Nothing lah.'. You thought of buying a pink car for my sake, even though the thought lasted for seconds, you've totally got my heart, albeit knowing the fact that actually you're reluctantly attracted to pink as well. You're the only one who's dying to eat the broccoli that I cook, while everyone starts running else where. You don't mind or get mad at me, even if I fall asleep listening to you talking over the phone. You'd stay at home and skype with me all day during holidays, to find a little strength for the 9 months and 10 days oceans apart. You'd pray for me every night, you made extravagant wishes to Lord for your 20th birthday which you've told me about, literally or psychologically. You love my collarbones even though I despise their existence. You'd make every girl jealous of me, because you're way too sweet♥ You'll write your vows and stick them on the wall just to remind yourself that you'd be better and better for me. You always said:' You're mine.' when you're jealous of some guys.. You are a man who fears God, which I think is sexy to the max. You're afraid of cockroaches, but you promised to kill them for me, although that needs some proof in times to come. You don't really know how to express your feelings, but I know you're learning. You share secrets with me, but when I call you 'best friend', your heart breaks; it doesn't end here, because when I got mad and off my phone, you started to write silly blog posts about yourself..

b, all of which I'm writing here, none of them make you seem stupid, silly, moron or idiot. You're important to me, you make me learn from my mistakes, and to give myself a chance again. You forgive me when I do you wrong like dreamt bout other guys(which is very stupid i know but i swear! I thought about none of them..), you treasure me like I'm a gift from God though you've known, I was once shattered. You said you'll fix me, when I made mistake that has no turning back and started blaming myself. You come up of nowhere to wipe my tears away when I'm in despair. You would say "I love you" over and over again just so I would have faith in you..

b, to have you is one of the greatest blessings of mine. Do you know how exactly I feel? Champagne in veins, want-to-shout-it-to-the-world happy..:) I'd forever keeping you close. I'll dance with you, our music will go on and on, just as this very script. But, before today ends, I've something really important to tell you:

有时候 总觉得你像恶魔
一次次的犯错  一次次的不改过
承诺又多心酸  誓言就有多荒唐

很爱你  真的不想失去你
也知道 你努力在改变
你说 这是本色 由不得你
伤痛是影子 但有些痛
无法平抚 无法愈合
无法弥补 无法忘却
挂着泪珠 随之
谱一曲思念 祭一世芬芳

若心意已决 又何必留恋
讨厌 好厌倦
讨厌  想把你碎尸万段的讨厌
可是  我依然为你祈祷
天冷并不冷  心寒才是冷
永远有多远？

...我看不见

woke up today, my heart was aching reading your text.
You're so hard to read, you play hide&seek with your real intention.

We aren’t always going to be in control of our circumstances.  There will be times when all we can do is surrender them to Christ and trust that he will work them out for our good.  It may be scary to wait in the deep water for Jesus to bring you to safety but that is exactly what you must do -- what I must do.

If you're a believer,
Don't doubt. Believe.
Everything will be fine,
we ♥ you..


daddy.

Everybody deserves a chance..

To be or not to be.

It's surprising how people around you commented on you.

"I love reading wenyi's essays. It's straight to the point. If it's three words it'd be in three words; unlike her in person. If it's three words she can put it in ten words, and makes everything seems so long."

"you're so dramatic&blur in real life yet you wrote critical essays!"

"You've the beauty, the brain, and a perfect bf. Life's so unfair.BOO. "

"How can you study while watching dramas? I feel so sad now. It's like you spent little time studying and yet we got the same grade.. "

"You're like the type of popular and cocky girl having rejected prolly many unlucky guys when I first met you and I was reluctant to befriend you!"

"She's too blur, you can't ask her that."

"do you even know who's Steve Jobs? He passed away!"

"do you know kissing doesn't get one pregnant?"

so many different perspectives. so contradictary.
self-fulfilling prophecy much?

夜太黑  看不见
你在我身边

What?! isn't this my musang outfit?
This little guy had it on him. haha. Apparently it fits him so well.
It's like some traditional item where your ancestors pass for generations.
Pa said he stood on the stage and his little mind went blank out for almost one minute.
And today, ma called, complaining him pleading so hard adopting a kitten
and ended up being freaked out by his new pet and threw up.
lmao.. life's just so much fun with this little guy..

Well. looking forward to meet him in December.
I wish I'd be a good mum by then.
Dear father, blessed those who loves me, and whom I love..

Amen. Nights world. :)